Toon-spiration!

This week has been slightly rougher than other weeks... but not in the same way as before. I am having a hard time believing myself that such a small amount of food WILL FILL ME UP! Like last night, we went to a local Italian restaurant. I wanted toasted ravioli. I was STARVING! So i ordered a salad w/ it... the salad was pretty big, so I split it with DH. Still didn't think a plate of just ravioli would be enough... contemplated adding chicken to the dish, but decided against it. To make a long story short: i ended up eating only a little over half and brought the rest home... and STILL overate a little! I've got to remember that the amount of food that it takes to fill me up has changed dramatically. It's def. a lifestyle change. But I have to remember: I didn't get 100 lbs over weight over night, so I'm not going to loose it that fast either. It took me over 5 years to get this size.

Anyway, to lighten the mood, I have found several cute weight loss cartoons that I thought I'd share! Enjoy and have a fantastic weekend!

I Can Really Tell A Change; and one that is SO much better than my pant size!

Today has been a very good day. Last night me, DH, and DH's grandma went to eat at a local Italian/Greek restaurant. I got the chicken parmigiana, which ended up being a humongous plate of food! Now, before, I would have easily sat and ate the entire thing... two breaded and fried chicken breasts, a plate of spaghetti, and a salad. Instead, I split the salad with DH, ate less than one chicken breast (probably left about 3 bites), and only half the spaghetti. Oh, and also the plate came w/ two pieces of garlic toast, which I only ate one (gave the other to DH... his favorite!) So left over supper last night made an awesome lunch today. Plus, the lunch was so satisfying that I haven't snacked at all today.

I haven't weighed again... I've jumped on the scale, but haven't really looked at the number. I think I am going to wait until April 23rd, because that will be officially one month since I started. I can't believe how much my attitude towards food has changed. Use to, when I got hungry, I got ravenous (even though I really wasn't that hungry). I had to have food; I couldn't stand the feeling of hunger. Now, I almost embrace it. Like right now for instance. I am getting a little hungry, probably about a 3 or 4 on the "HUNGER SCALE", but I don't want to snack cause I want to be hungry so I can eat supper with DH when he gets home. Before, I would be sitting here eating enough food to qualify a meal.

Sure, on other "diets" I've lost weight a lot faster. One time I actually think I lost about 20 lbs in 3 of 4 weeks. But ya know what happened? I reverted back to my old ways and gained about 30 back. That's how I got almost 100 lbs over weight!! Now I really don't feel like I'm dieting. I feel like I've done more than just "cut back" or "drop a few pounds"... I have gotten out of an abusive relationship. FOOD WAS CONTROLLING ME BEFORE. But now I'm in charge! That's something you CAN'T see on the scale!

Me and DH are going to walk the dog tonight. It'll be a nice break from the treadmill... but still exercising (and a fun way to do it at that!) I think I'm going to try to convince DH to put the dog up w hen we're done and go a few extra laps w/ me!

What's your motivation??

I hit the treadmill again tonight (go me!). I told myself I was going to make it an hour. About 35 minutes into it I wanted to give up. "Just start out slow" I told myself, "45 minutes is still really good". It was the whole devil on one shoulder, angel on the other type picture. "But it's only a 15 minute difference.. you can do it. JUST DO IT!" Ultimately, the JUST DO IT attitude won out. My feet are aching, my thighs are pounding, and I just now caught my breath...but it was so worth it. I walked 3 miles!!!! So that lead me to wonder... what's your motivation??

I have several things that I try to keep in the back of my mind in order to stay motivated:

• Standing up and looking in a mirror to see my thighs not crashing together. I'd love to walk on the beach in a bathing suit and not have to go back up to the room and use gold bond for the chaffing (sorry for the TMI!!)
• Loving my 20's! I am 22 years old, will be 23 in June. I don't want to look back on my 20s with sadness because I hid behind my fat. I want to look back and smile at all the fun I had... fun I might not have ever experienced cause I was too shy or too embarrassed to let myself out into the world out of fear of being labeled "the really nice fat girl" or the "fat friend". I want to have my 20's be my AFTER picture, not my BEFORE!
• Children. Me and DH have been trying to have a child for over a year now. I have been through 5 rounds of infertility treatments to no avail. We have had one visit with an infertility specialist, and while we didn't pursue him farther due to having no infertility insurance, he did make a point to say that weight loss could possibly help my ovulation issues. That sparked an Internet search. I've read article after article, from very reliable resources, saying that clinical studies has shown that women who were either over weight or under weight ovulated and most conceived once they got into a healthy weight range. Do I know for sure that my weight is causing our infertility? No, but I don't want to take the chance that we spend thousands of dollars on infertility treatment when all it would take is losing some weight. I want to be a Mom! And not just any mom... AN ACTIVE MOM! One that can keep up with her children.... not one that sits on the couch out of breath trying to convince them to sit down and watch TV.
• Celebrity pictures. Tons of people say not to depend on this way of motivation... because most pictures out there of celebrities are unreal: airbrushed to hide any minimal imperfection. But ya know, it works for me. Seeing celebrities like Lauren Graham, Reba McEntire, Melissa Peterman, Ali from "Biggest Loser", etc.... real women who look AWESOME. This style of motivation isn't nearly as strong as my others I've mentioned, but it does the trick sometimes.

So my question to the world is:

What's your motivation??

I'd love to hear your replies!

David said "JUST DO IT"

This blog goes out to David, the person who commented me on my last post.

"JUST DO IT" that pretty much sums up what he said to my plea for advice on how to get motivated to exercise. So I chewed on that for a little bit when I got home. I prepared supper, ate with my husband, and watched a little TV. Then "Biggest Loser" came on and I started watching. I never miss an episode of this show; I love it! About 15 minutes into it, I looked at DH and said "Ya know what, I just have to do it. I have to start exercising." So of course I got up... and procrastinated. "Here we go again" I thought. Then I saw a woman on Biggest Loser get on the scale, and of course, her name was Amanda. I thought, "If another Amanda can do it, so can I!" So i got up, and hit the treadmill.....

45 MINUTES LATER!! I stepped off. 45 minutes! I can't remember the last time I walked that long. Did I break a sweat? No. Did I get to the point of physical exhaustion? No!! So what does that mean? I can do more! I can't believe i'm actuall typing it: but I can do more! 45 minutes was comfortable. I never thought I was capable of that. So tommorow night I'm going for an hour.

So David, Thank you! I'm sure you had no idea how much 3 little words would have motivated me, but thank you!

Day 22

I weighed this morning... I am officially down 10 lbs!

It's very liberating to say that I lost 10 pounds, and I can honestly say I have not once "dieted" in the past 22 days. I've at exactly what I wanted.

One area I haven't been working on too hard is exercising. I know I said a few post ago I would walk, and I did a few times, but I have'nt made it part of my routine. I just cannot get motivated to exercise. Any suggestions from you guys??

Something I meant to blog about earlier...

I have been meaning to blog about this for a while, however the last week I haven't had much time... so I guess i'm making up for lost time by doing two in one day! :)

The many, many times before that I have dieted, i've always thought constantly about food. On weight watchers it was all about how much is this point, how many points have I had so far, how many points do I have left, will that food fit into my point allowance, etc... with Atkins, it was always how many carbs is in that, what can I eat with beef other than chicken?, etc. With starvation diets it was always about avoidance. My point is, on all other diets I've been on food has haunted me, even in my dreams. And I mean literally.

Before, about two weeks into a diet I would start getting dreams about slipping up. I would wake up so mad at myself for eating 5 hot dogs, only to realize it was a dream. I'd wake up scared to death that I had ate 2 pizzas by myself, only then to relize it was a dream. I told DH about this, and he just lauged. It is kinda funny looking back, but still very sad. I let food control my life so much that it even controlled my dreams. I was never really free. Even when I did eat, I was thinking so hard about what I was going to eat next that I never enjoyed a single bite of food. It's very depressing to think about a life like that.

Food is not the enemy, it's our attitude towards it. A delicious, thick, choclately, layered slice of sinfully rich cake doesn't have to be the end of a diet. Having a bite, or even a full serving, doesn't mean you can "screw it" and binge the rest of the day (i've done this probably 1000 times, and that's not an exageration).

I've learned more from this diet in the past couple of weeks than I have any diet I've ever been on. Not only that: but dreaming is FUN again! Food is no longer the "monster in my closet." I'm not longer deprived, food is no longer a double edge sword for me. Tonight I went to DH Grandma's for a family dinner. She had steaks, salad, baked potatoes, and of course two different kinds of dessert. I ate half my steak, 3/4th of my baked potatoe, one piece of bread, and a small salad. I was more than satisfied. Then I topped the meal off with about 2 bites of each dessert. I stopped when I was full. Since I haven't been deprving myself I didn't feel the earge to binge on the dessert because I haven't been restricting myself. I didn't NEED to binge, because if I wanted it tommorow I could have it tommorow.

See what i'm saying?? I don't have to binge anymore, because before the reason for bingeing was because "i can't have this food anymore after I binge. So i better eat a lot since I can never have it again" NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!

My chains are gone!

Sorry for the delay in posting!

Hey Guys (or girls.. whoever the two people that made comments on my last blog were... which PS: that made my day!) Sorry for the delay in posting. My friend just had a baby last night... he is so precious. So that has kept me busy since Weds.

To date I have lost.... drum roll please.... about 7 or 8 pounds. My scale really really sucks, i need to get a new one, but how ironic would it be to buy a new scale for a diet that promotes not weighing yourself :)

I have not had a binge in over 2 weeks. That is a big deal for me. I feel like an alcholic or a drug addict proudly proclaiming that I've been clean for 14 days.

Today I went to a local sub shop here to get a chicken salad salad for lunch. Now usually I would go in, get my salad with spinach, chicken salad, and parmesean cheese. I would never get extra shredded cheese because I was on a "diet". I would never have more than one pack of crackers cause I was on a "diet". Well, my friends, I am no longer on a diet! I got the salad exactly the way I wanted it, with exactly the dressing I wanted (none of that low fat mess!) I did eat my whole salad, plus about 3 packs of crackers. But guess what? I didn't have my regular mid afternoon snack. I've been home for almost an hour, and haven't done my normal binging on food. Yea, i'm a little hungry...but I've gotten to where I have enjoyed waiting until I am very hungry (not ravenous... stay out of the red) and then satisfying it with about half the amount of food that it use to take.

I know i'm kind of rambling in this post... I guess my heads still full of pictures of that precious new baby!!